Someone asked me if I am a girl or a boy today.
Because I have short hair, she said, was why she asked.
What really annoys me the most is that she totally cut off the other person she was talking to mid conversation, looked at me and said, “Okay, I have to ask: Girl or boy?”
This was at work and had to be probably the most awkward situation I’ve been put in there. I said, “I’m a girl.” She then responded, “Oh, well it’s just you have short hair and all,” and then continued to say, “I hope that wasn’t offensive.” I didn’t get to respond, but I thought the way that I more or less left the area kind of made it obvious that it was offensive. At least, I hope it did. It’s called gender stereotyping, and it’s also called common courtesy and respect. I know I look fairly androgynous and I am okay with that, but I do not need to be called out in the middle of work to be asked if I am a girl or a boy. It’s rude.
I didn’t get the chance to respond to her hoping she didn’t offend because my boss interjected with a, “Nahh,” and the two proceeded to laugh it off. I think my boss only did it though, so that I wouldn’t have to talk to the lady more or be subjected to anymore stereotypes that I didn’t fit into for her.
It’s maddening. I don’t mind when people assume I am one gender or the other, but when they just ask? In a public place? With other people around? No. Go take your gender bias and stereotypes elsewhere, please and thank you.
For someone like me, that question is like having someone come up to you and tell you that your makeup looks like shit, or that your shirt is ugly, or that your haircut is horrible. It makes you feel self conscious and awkward and like you’re not doing something right. You feel like you’re not doing something right because they are forcing their stereotype on you, but they are also telling you very blatantly that you don’t fit, and proceed to call you out for it.
I just wish society wasn’t so gender based. Girls, boys, androgynous, trans*, we should all be able to exist freely and openly without stereotypes being shoved down our throats.
